Dad, you didn't teach me discipline or control over my sexuality.
You were always absent- when you weren't working, you were still checked out emotionally. I never learned how to hug a man or draw healthy touch or affection and attention from men, because you never role-modelled that for me. All you ever were was unavailable, physically and emotionally. Maybe your presence and simply listening to me would have taken the wind out of my sails, on a ship sailing towards lust and hedonism...
Mom, you didn't teach me how to, or that it was ok to harness and cultivate my sensuality.
I had to fly blind and grope around in the dark to figure out that a woman's power is her gentleness and kindness of heart, not just her sexuality. Being sexy and desirable is not powerful, without also being kind and soft, to my partner(s) and to myself.
I'm not complaining about my parents. I'm taking responsibility as a parent, as a mother and as a father, too, in the absence of my children's father, who always works.
Every day I learn, and every day I grow. At 26, it's time for me to parent myself... And to my children, if daddy and I ever fail you in these respects, I'm sorry. I will do my best as a mother, for your emotional and physical health, and attempt to support your growth and building of mental development, emotional resilience (not re-silence you) and support your spiritual learning, as best as I can.
I love you both, to the moon and back.
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