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What I truly want

No, what I truly want is to breastfeed my children. But the time for that has passed...
.
I don't want to be a lactation consultant. It's too much tedious work getting the certification.

No, I want to be a blogger. I want to write, and I want my blog to be popular like xia xue's, and I want to be sponsored and for marketers and advertisers to use my platform for their products (I want to advocate for the products and services I use and/or believe in. Things that make life easier, breezier, and at least more bearable. What I don't want, is to be a mouthpiece for a brand or product or service that is harmful or destructive, or that does a disservice to the world and others. If i ever do that, please come back to this post and call me out on it. We'll talk about it like civil folk do).

But what would I write about? My feelings, perhaps. My neuroticism, my bipolarity, my highs and lows.

I've come through a cloud of depression and suicide, and now I'm here. I don't know where writing will take me. All I know is it's therapeutic. And thank you for taking your time to read my thoughts.

This is a personal space for me. A place to just let out my inner verbal typhoon.

As I write, I feel a sense of peace, as if I'm talking to someone, getting it all out there, sending my love and energy into the universe.

I also know that I'm leaving behind a legacy, or something of me (a little piece of my soul, a bloody farking Horcrux, if you will) for my children to connect with, when my body is cold and I'm gone for this world. And perhaps in a next life, if we still have the interwebs, I might discover my work, and go 'wow, this writer is really helpful. I don't feel as shit as I usually do, reading her stuff. Well, here's hoping anyway, reincarnated me).

Perhaps I'll write some poetry sometime, and post it on here. Yeah, perhaps maybe I'll do that. 

:)

Take care for now. Bye.

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